Overheard in Cow Town

What every girl wants to hear

2006-05-04T22:24:00.000-07:00

Guy: I'm not going to start dating until I get over myself.

-CoffeeHouse
Overheard by the roguish Ricardo

Boy will SHE be sorry..

2006-05-04T22:23:00.000-07:00

Two guys exit the co-op
Guy #1: Hey dude, that girl in line behind us was checking you out.
Guy #2: Was she hot?
Guy #1: Yeah
Guy #2: Let's go back and show her how wrong she was.

-Co-op
Overheard by the strapping Ricardo

Start small..

2006-05-02T15:32:00.000-07:00

Guy 1: I'm going to go to coffee with her later too.
Guy 2 [with no (much needed) sarcasm]: Hey man, good job!! Someone actually made a friend in class!

-Near Shields

Oh don't worry, they don't make it taste like charity!

2006-05-02T15:30:00.000-07:00

Girl 1: So what's this whole 'Fair Trade' thing about?
Girl 2: Well you buy your coffee from them and money goes back to the towns and villiages it came from.
Girl 1: And I'm supposed to care?

-Kerr Hall

The important things in life, kept in perspective.

2006-05-02T15:28:00.000-07:00

Girl on cellphone: Hi, Mom? Hey, I have a question. Well I spilled orange juice all over my jacket when I was making breakfast this morning. Yeah, the white one, I'm still wearing it. Well do you think I should skip class.. just get off the bus and clean it off? Ok thanks, yeah I'll just get off at the next stop!

-W line Unitrans

Keeping things in perspective

2006-03-23T13:03:00.000-08:00

Girl1: Whenever I go back to my parent's house I always wish that I had a laptop.
Girl2: It is really hard to share with parents. Plus all your stuff in on your computer!
Girl1: Totally.. like my pirated version of Lego Star Wars!

-Unitrans

Procrastination comes in many forms

2006-03-23T13:00:00.000-08:00

Guy1: There is one guy in the group who is totally socially inept!
Guy 2: He should go on 'Beauty and the Geek'
[telling silence]
Guy1: You watch that show??
Guy2: Uhh well no. I mean, but last time it was the finale!

-On Unitrans

Code speak: decoded!

2006-03-23T12:59:00.000-08:00

Girl1: Why are you all dressed up today?
Girl2: Cause yesterday you said that I looked depressed and nothing says 'depressed' like looking like shit.

-Olson

Service with a smile!

2006-03-01T19:02:00.000-08:00

Guy: I like it when I can go to the bathroom and sit down on the toilet and have the seat still be warm.

-Near MU

Keeping the cultural tradition alive!

2006-03-01T18:59:00.001-08:00

Girl1: I sabotaged your load!
Girl2: You would, you crafty little Asian..

-Two girls discussing laundry on Unitrans

Just punch out your friend now and get over the years of bitter struggle.

2006-03-01T18:59:00.000-08:00

Girl1: Why are you walking so fast?
Girl2: Because it's raining. Why are you walking so slowly?
Girl1: Because it's raining.

- Near Silo

Making the best out of a bad situation

2006-03-01T18:54:00.000-08:00

Girl1: ' You look like a hooker'-- that just hurts!
Girl2: Like my fist and your face hurts!
Girl1: ...I like fists...

-Unitrans

Sense of Humor with your Valtrex?

2006-02-14T15:30:00.000-08:00

Girl: Ok, worst Valentine's Day ever?
Guy: High school.. My would-have-been girlfriend broke the news to me that she had herpes. Tried to make a joke of it, saying "Happy VD Day!"

-MU

As we have daily proof

2006-02-08T21:51:00.000-08:00

Prof: I will remind you that even paranoids have enemies.

- Class in Olson

Now that's a good friend..

2006-02-08T21:50:00.000-08:00

Girl: I think I have a bladder problem!
Guy: I could have told you as much.

-On Unitrans bus

And thus it begins..

2006-01-31T19:35:00.000-08:00

Prof: Ah science majors.. we have a special place in hell for them!

-CompLit class in Olson

Except..

2006-01-26T13:18:00.000-08:00

Girl to her tall, Caucasian friend: Has anyone ever told you that you look Asian?

-Unitrans

The department to which the UC money really goes..

2006-01-20T12:36:00.000-08:00

Girl1: Where's your class?
Girl2: In Keebler.
Girl1: Uh, Kleiber?
Girl2: Oh yeah, like the elves!

-Unitrans

So that's what the kids are calling it nowadays..

2006-01-20T12:33:00.000-08:00

Two girls discussing a phone conversation:
"It went like this..

Girl1: I felt it last night!
Girl2: What, his penis?
Girl1: No! IT!
Girl2: His penis??
Girl1: NO! That.. lovey feeling!"

-Unitrans

Good to see your tuition is paying for this education

2006-01-20T12:30:00.000-08:00

Girl on cell phone: What if she had a baby with herself? Haha yes, how very Virgin Mary-esque! Well if she's a hermaphrodite she could do it-- just extract some sperm or something!

-near MU

Beam me up, Overheard!

2006-01-13T11:45:00.000-08:00

Group of students waiting to get on the bus outside the Art Building Terminal:

Girl1: This is ridiculous! We need to just advance to the days of "Star Trek" and teleport home! [makes loud teleport-esque noise, then realizes what she has done]
Girl2: Yes, we heard that.

-Outside Art

That belongs in "Chicken Soup for the Romantic's Soul"

2006-01-13T11:41:00.000-08:00

Professor: Yes exactly, so he is 'lost' in a sense of being found. [long pause] That's too cute by half.

-Classroom in Olson

Cyclops children are the new emo

2006-01-13T11:39:00.000-08:00

Girl1: I want to have a Cyclops child!
Girl2: Well with your genes I bet you could.

-Near Art Building

That would have been an interesting art school application..

2006-01-13T11:35:00.000-08:00

Guy: If I weren't in this major I would have gone to art school.
Girl: Really?? Me too!
Guy: Oh cool. My favorite art is stuff like Dali--
[blank look]
--you know, the guy with the melting clocks?
Girl: Oh I don't know him. I like stuff like.. well do you know [indistinct mumble of a name]?
Guy: No. I don't really know that many artists..

-on Unitrans

Points for admitting it at least..

2006-01-06T11:23:00.000-08:00

Guy talking to two female friends: I don't know if I can fully count as a man anymore.. I watched "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants" with my mom over the break and I think I grew a temporary vagina.

-Outside MU

You can tell a lot about a people by their buns

2006-01-06T11:20:00.000-08:00

Professor: The Germans have a different way of looking at breakfast displays, and therefore a different way of looking at the world.

-German class in Olson

"I've always longed for the day when a man tells me that 2% of women really are hotter than me"

2005-12-20T10:48:00.000-08:00

Suit and tie wearing type sitting at the bar talkin to a definate multi-colored dreads sporting type lady, trying to woo her and the like. They're chatting for a good long while and then he pulls out: "So, you know you're in better shape than like 95% of the women in here...no make that 98!"

-Sophia's
Emailed overheard... snarky title contribution and all

[Smacks forehead]

2005-12-15T21:55:00.000-08:00

Guy: I hella wanted to get up in front of the class and just argue the counter-point. So I did and the class hella laughed cause I was the anti-recycling side.
Girl: What did you say?
Guy: Well like, trees are only grown so that they can be made into paper.

-CoHo

Can't we all just be friends?

2005-12-15T21:52:00.000-08:00

Unitrans driver to a friend: Unitrans hates sorority girls.
Sorority girl, upon hearing this remark: And sorority girls hate ugly busses. And the vehicles they drive.

-W line

Cheer up, cart-pusher

2005-12-07T18:42:00.000-08:00

Two men bike by, one riding a normal bike, the other some crazy bike-cart hybrid. The former turns to his friend and says: How very emo of you!

-near the art building

Two for one: avoiding confrontation and getting inheritance..

2005-12-01T09:02:00.000-08:00

Guy: Tell her your parents died or something. How could you argue at a time like that?

-Checkout line in South Davis Safeway

This conversation is WAY too animated

2005-11-29T14:10:00.000-08:00

Guy 1: I made the best sandwich this morning. I was so excited to eat it!
Guy 2: Sure seems like it!! What kind was it?
Guy 1: Ementhaler, honey roasted turkey and mayo!
Guy2: Wow, that DOES sound really exciting!!

-On the Quad

... Obviously not what your parents intended

2005-11-29T14:02:00.000-08:00

Guy 1: I used to smoke like three bowls between classes. But I can't do that anymore.
Guy 2: Yeah, school is just way too demanding.
Guy 1: Totally. Like I could only smoke once on Tuesday since I had a test in the afternoon.
Guy 2: Man, what is it doing to us...

-On Unitrans

Maybe she just answered her own question?

2005-11-29T13:58:00.000-08:00

Girl to her not-so-sympathetic friend: Why don't I have a boyfriend?? I'm a nice girl. I'm not stuck up. That's what sets me apart from a lot of other stupid girls.

-In the MU

The Mondavi Center has nothing on it.

2005-11-14T14:27:00.000-08:00

Guy: I'm telling you, Davis is such a cultural armpit.
Girl: This coming from a guy who can't stay awake during any film besides "Jaws"?

-Shields Library

Put that one on your pre-made excuses list.

2005-11-14T14:23:00.000-08:00

Girl 1: Do you want to come to a movie tomorrow night?
Girl 2: Is it free?
Girl 1: Yeah.
Girl 2: Oh wait, I can't-- tomorrow night is a full moon.
Girl 1: What, is that like some "I have to wash my hair" excuse?

-residence in S. Davis

I'll only tell if I get some navigator commission!

2005-11-10T13:41:00.000-08:00

[right before divide]
Bus driver: Wait, is this the Silo bus?

-W Line (Silo) Unitrans

Doing our part to get the SMACK out there.

2005-11-08T20:53:00.000-08:00

Faux-offended guy talking to female friend: Ooh smack! I'm gonna tell everyone you said that, I'm going to put it ALLL up on Facebook!

- Outside MU

Well now, that's just laziness talking!

2005-11-08T20:50:00.000-08:00

Tipsy girl: I need to be on my hands and knees to really work on something!

- Sudwerks Brewery

Let's go for high QUANTITY instead!

2005-11-03T12:50:00.000-08:00

Girl discussing lunch options with her boyfriend: I don't want to go to Pluto's, I don't feel like salad.
Boyfriend: They have sandwiches too.
Girl: I don't like them though, they're too good.. too gourmet.

- W line Unitrans

Sorry but Calvin already used that excuse

2005-11-02T14:58:00.000-08:00

Guy on cell phone: I only told her I had to help my brother drive a moving van to the Yukon... I know but dude I just panicked!... Yeah now she just thinks I have a great sense of humor.

-Bainer Hall

When did this become lunch-time conversation?

2005-11-02T14:54:00.000-08:00

Girl talking to her friend: I really liked the book up until the part where he said that she was as "sweet as a cupcake" that he wants to "lick around the edge for frosting." I don't even know what that means but it can't be good!

-Near the Silo bus terminals

Hellooooo couch!

2005-10-31T22:08:00.000-08:00

Guy talking to his girlfriend: Well why don't you go home and put on your "bitch" costume so I won't be the only one who understands what you are!

-Outisde MU

Good news students: "poor" is the new "black"

2005-10-28T17:30:00.000-07:00

[Two guys wandering past the hair product aisle..]

Guy 1: Haircare products are so goddamned expensive!
Guy 2: Yeah.. that's why my hair is ghetto fabulous.

- S. Davis RiteAid

Then what's this poking my back?

2005-10-27T18:19:00.000-07:00

Bio 1C TA: This right here [points to slide] is called "early wood"... not to be confused with "morning wood"

- Science Lab, Bio 1C

When there is no space to run away..

2005-10-27T17:26:00.000-07:00

Girl talking animatedly on cell phone in the crowded bus: You should hella get a tutor.. I could be your tutor, but you need to understand that I'm totally not going to let you get away with things.. Yeah cause I got A's in the 16 series.. Well if you don't think you need one, fine.-- but see this is just your arrogance talking, you really need my help.. [looks at phone as another call comes through] Ok I can't talk anymore, yeah bye... [answers other call] HEY! How are you? Yeah.. oh do you want to like study tonight?? What? You're going out tonight for fun!? It's not Halloween yet!

- W Line, Unitrans

".. Yes, but only when you came to visit"

2005-10-27T17:11:00.000-07:00

Girl 1: I should really go back home this weekend..
Girl 2: Why's that? Weren't you there all summer?
Girl 1: Yeah but I was out all the time and my parents never really saw me..
Girl 2 [snidely]: What, like they were complaining?

- W Line, Unitrans

It's the question we've all been wanting to ask!

2005-10-26T08:27:00.000-07:00

Lady 1: God, that hurts!
Lady 2: Are the crabs biting again?

- Outside N. Davis Safeway

Alcohol isn't the answer.. unless the question is:

2005-10-26T08:25:00.000-07:00

Frustrated Girl: How did I do it last year without that little tool??
Wise Sage Guy: Beer.

- Appt. off of La Rue

What kind of context WOULD have explained these?

2005-10-26T08:16:00.000-07:00

Some One-Line Gems:

Guy at party: I dropped seeds all over my crotch.. and your hand smells looong afterwards.

At same party: [jumbled conversation] "some finger banging on the dashboard" [more jumbled, though slightly quieter conversation] "and fuck coming out... what?" [as room quiets to hear]

- Appt. off of La Rue

Always nice to have friends watching out for you...

2005-10-24T20:03:00.000-07:00

Guy on cell phone: They broke up last night? Wow, poor Heather-- she deserves better than that. Good thing she still us around....... Oh yeah totally, man, I'm definitly gonna hit that shit!

- Outside the MU

But I want GOLD

2005-10-21T22:13:00.000-07:00

On the bus, hum of talking covering all conversations.. suddenly the noise stops and we all hear random guy assert:
"And I'll have your balls on a silver platter!"
[silence reigns]

- Unitrans, W line

And here I was thinking he seemed closer to "People"

2005-10-20T14:49:00.000-07:00

Guy 1: Man, did you hear that Don's girlfriend found out about that other girl at the party last week?
Guy 2 : Nope.
Guy 1: You didn't? Geez. Well supposedly some shit went down. It's totally like Chris and Jen last quarter. You knew about that right?
Guy 2: Dude, what do I look like, "InTouch" Magazine?

-Outside the Silo

Where can I get me some of those??

2005-10-18T21:04:00.000-07:00

Girl talking to friend: I don't know, I was just in a bad mood today. It made me feel better to wear my antennae and big fat "fuck you" ring.

-Parking lot near Safeway

Cats have nutritional value too, and are delicious with a touch of basil

2005-10-18T21:01:00.000-07:00

Girl 1 in line: So, do you think that cat food has much nutritional value?
Girl 2: Yeah I think so.. I mean, people make meatloaf and stuff out of it.

- Safeway checkout line

Good thing girls have eachother to rely on!

2005-10-18T13:56:00.000-07:00

Girl on cell phone: So then I told her, "No WAY am I going to rub your hairy feet!" What? Well, no, but she has cankles. So who knows what she's hiding under those socks!

-W Line, Unitrans

You'd be perfect for the CIA

2005-10-18T09:37:00.000-07:00

Loud man on cell phone outside Wellman: "WE'RE KEEPING IT JUST BETWEEN THE TWO OF US, MAN!"

Every head in the grassy area turns toward him...
-Wellman

Munchies, anyone?

2005-10-11T19:59:00.000-07:00

Teacher: The thorns on roses are actually called "prickles"
Hungry Guy in class: "Prickles"... isn't that a type of potato chip?

-Bio 1C, Science Lecture

The TA would know, being a German girl and all.

2005-10-11T19:55:00.000-07:00

Teacher: [reading text on student's shirt] "Everyone loves a German girl" That's nice!
Student: Yeah, it's a lie.

-German class, Phys/Geo Building

Are we still talking about the bus here?

2005-10-11T19:49:00.000-07:00

[On crowded bus returning from campus]

Ditzy Girl: This is awful!
Chauvinistic Guy: Yeah I know.. it's like Tetris. Bend over.

- W Line Unitrans

Why not name it Car-bon?!

2005-10-11T19:48:00.000-07:00

Girl: I named my car Argon! Because it's an Element... get it? Chemistry?!

- W Line Unitrans

Is Your Wife Going to Leaf You Too?

2005-10-10T19:33:00.000-07:00

Prof: "I want to talk a little bit more about leaves before we leaf here tonight...[dead silence]"
BIS 1C Lecture

Where the Psych Majors go for Internships

2005-10-10T19:29:00.000-07:00

psychotherapist wannabe: "what, you DON'T want to be depressed? Have a cookie! Have a cookie!"
-Shields Library

It's not like the class was listening in the first place.

2005-10-10T17:11:00.000-07:00

Teacher: This vocalization is only found in the dialect spoken in Tokyo-- and where is our native speaker of Japanese from last week? Ah yes, here she is. Now where in Japan are you from?
Girl 1: Actually, I'm Chinese. It wasn't me.
Teacher: Oh. Well, did the Japanese one leave us?
Girl 2: That was me!
Teacher: Good good! So now where are you from?
Girl 2: From the north.
Teacher: Oh. Too bad. Well, moving onto the next one...
Girl 2: Well, we have that word too. [Demonstrates]
Teacher: Hmm, that's okay. But I think it's something more like this...

-Linguistics, Olson Hall

Germany Also Made me a Douche

2005-10-07T15:56:00.000-07:00

Pretentious German Snob: I think German makes you "math-smarter". After I lived in Germany, I came back and I was excellent in math, calc had nothing on me.
-German, Olson

Congratulate me on my bowel movements too!

2005-10-07T10:02:00.000-07:00

girl #1: I slept really deeply last night.
girl #2: WAY TO GO!!!
-Linguistics, Olson Hall

Coldstone's Escort Service

2005-10-06T15:30:00.000-07:00

Guy: I'd like an "I like It" sized ice cream
Coldstone Lady: would you like toppings?
Guy: I don't know.
Coldstone Lady: The first one's free!
Guy: I've heard that one before.
-Coldstone

And so it begins...

2005-10-06T15:12:00.000-07:00

Ahoy and welcome to absurdity.

Created as a product of boredom and desperation, this site will hopefully serve the purpose of documenting all the ridiculous/amusing/terrifying comments overheard in Davis and allow us all to laugh at the utter stupidity that abounds, whilst carefully considering that we're all probably just as guilty of blurting out equally stupid things in public.

Everyone is encouraged to contribute comments so email overheardincowtown@yahoo.com with the overheard comment and where it was heard.

Oh yes, and this is unabashedly and proudly a knockoff of overheardinnewyork.com and inpassing.org. We know this and it's intentional. But who really cares about New York when you're in Cowtown, California.